Spiritual development and sex are not that common to see in the same sentence. In fact a number of spiritual and religious schools of thought promote a celibate lifestyle or restrict sex and certain sexual acts altogether. 

However spiritual awareness is as a crucial component in this aspect of personal development as it is in other areas. In fact, positive sexual experiences have a lot to do with spiritual awareness.

Here are 5 points that I believe bring self-awareness and a positive experience of making love into close alignment:

1. Present Moment Awareness

Making love is impossible without being aware in the present moment. This goes for other actions too, a fulfilling experience cannot be had when thinking while doing. In the previous article I wrote, The Formula to Get From 10% to 100%, I talked about how the mind can create a chasm between planning and outcome. Likewise, in life it is common to separate thinking from action.

I began noticing that conversations I had with people became more fulfilling when I was present in the moment rather than thinking about something else or splitting attention between three or four different things. Spiritual awareness involves focusing on being present and dedicating total awareness to life experience, which makes all experiences, including sex, more direct and fulfilling.

2. Being More In-Tune

There is a common misconception that someone can be good at sex in general, as though it is something that can be developed. However the aspect that makes the experience of making love "good" is more of a reflection on how in-tune you are with yourself and your partner. 

The fundamental part of sharing the most positive experience is being able to communicate with and listen to your partner. Furthermore, being out-of-tune with your significant other in a relationship can cause your connection to each other to become less intimate on a number of levels.

3. Sharing a Deeper Connection

Following from the last point, it's often the case that developing and sharing a deeper spiritual connection with your significant other almost always results in a stronger intimate connection.

It is interesting to note how in our world faithlessness, multiple sexual partners in a short period of time, or lack of an intimate connection, are all often surface problems resulting from a fundamental lack of connection between two people.

Positive Intentions

Sex is often perceived as something negative not just in the sense that some suggest it conflicts with spiritual development, but also because it is often separated from self-awareness and as a result produces negative emotions, jealous feelings, poor relationships, and other negative aspects.

The reason is that sex is often used for something it is not intended to. The original purpose of making love was to share a deeper connection with another person, but in our current world this purpose has been replaced with a number of other reasons and expectations.

4. Closer Attention

Losing focus of the real reason causes unhappiness. Perhaps not in the exact moment, but when a connection between two people is forced the results are never positive. Give close attention to the issue of "WHY do I want to share a connection with this person?" and answer this question first. I am not inferring that the answer has to be a good one, or that there even has to be an answer, but I am suggesting that if the answer brings up negative emotions then it is worthwhile being mindful of it.

Being in the present moment and being in-tune also makes it easier to be more mindful of smaller details that are important. The most important part of sex or making love is not reaching an orgasm, it is more important to be able to focus on smaller details than attempting to chase a goal.

5. Sharing The Experience

Like with all things in life, the act of giving to others results in receiving back. This is one of the core spiritual practices — giving, not taking, brings abundance. You will find that making love is more fulfilling when focusing on creating a positive experience for your partner first. In addition, making love for the sole purpose of pleasing each other can create a whole new experience altogether.

The 5 Points - Summarized

1. Being aware in the present moment. Not getting caught up in thoughts or other worries.
2. Communicating and listening to be more in-tune with each other.
3. Having a positive intention (and the right intention).
4. Being more attentive to detail.
5. Being selfless.

Recommended Book

Michael webb has written a number of books on topics from romance to relationships. This e-book offers a number of practical guides for creating an intimate atmosphere.       Note: This e-book deals with issues that might offend some readers! I recommend those who are not comfortable with it not to click the link.

Next Post…

In the next post I will write about Tantra and how it can be used to transmutate spiritual energies as an alternative to traditional sex.

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