Not too long ago I heard a story from someone who had an encounter with a Mormon, who was at the time going from door to door spreading information about the religion. This person was telling me that instead of turning him away she invited him inside her home. Most people in the same circumstance would close the door — with the presumption that he was just selling the religion and wasting their time. The fact that she invited him in was a surprise to me and I wanted to know what happened next.

For me what she said held a significant lesson about compassion. She said that after talking to him for a while the Mormon who was spreading the religion concluded that he was perhaps on the wrong path and could be doing something more productive for his spiritual development. The whole time he was walking from door to door where people either accepted or rejected what he had to tell them about the religion as he was instructed to do. However most of those people did not listen to the deeper reason he was there and instead felt a need to judge him.

The lesson this held for me is that being more conscious of the judgements we make on others can bring us closer to understanding. The true nature of compassion is sometimes hearing someone out without placing them into a stereotype, but also not letting them put their stereotypes forward: Not through argument, but through rejecting to see each other in that light. Once we are at equal ground we are able to engage with others as their individual selves rather than their beliefs or their social agendas.

To be compassionate in this light requires acknowledgement that sometimes people hide behind beliefs and ideas and sometimes we find it easier to also put up our own beliefs about the roles we must take.

Do this exercise

Consider personal scenarios that call for a greater level of compassion. Instead of attaching a person to his or her viewpoints, arguments, and opinions, attempt to see the person who is beyond all those things. How does your understanding and awareness of this person change as a result?