Changing Life Patterns and Snapping Out of It!

Few people are conscious of the astounding and life-changing power that images have. Self-image is one of the major internal "images" that each one of us has come to hold on to. However there are image representations all around us — images that represent fragments of our world.

It's fascinating how someone can make us feel different just through how that person sees us. How often is it that people adapt their behaviour based on how others see them?

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Do You See what I see?

From right at the beginning of childhood if a teacher does not see potential and unlimited possibilities in each child and in fact perceives some children as inferior then the negative effect is tremendous. It's not about just what's said or even implied in interpersonal relationships that defines people. It's how we see each other.

There is an interesting point to note here that a therapist cannot help his clients if he doesn't believe in them. In fact we cannot do much at all if we don't believe that others are capable and have the resources to move forward on their own.

Imagine that the Buddha taught a school class in the modern education structure. Imagine how much potential would arise in each of the students. It doesn't take a bunch of lessons stating "You Can't" achieve this and that to limit an individual's self-image. It just requires that Your self image is limited to start off with! Your self-image determines Your Capabilities to see greater potential in others and to bring that potential out.

If we look with disapproval and expectation and condescension then we compress the amount of "space" others around us have to allow their self-image to shine. On the other hand practice seeing each individual person as a greater being than their surface-presentation and that person will have the space to actualise their self-image.

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The genuine self-image that each individual is born with is that of light: the potential to flow in new directions of experience. But when that self-image is defined in absolute terms this flow becomes limited. "Is this all I am?" is one of the questions that come to mind. Just through seeing oneself as more we see others around us as more too. To see is to allow. To see resourcefulness in others is to allow resourcefulness. To see happiness is to allow happiness. To see negative intentions is also to allow (and encourage) negative intentions.

To see is to allow

The following is a useful technique to practice becoming aware of one's own self-image.

Imagine in mind-sight a large black TV box. This large TV is blank and centred right in the middle of the mind.

Now on this TV screen imagine a stream of images from a significant conversation that happened in the last week with someone else or with the group of people. Just allow the visual images from this event float on to the mental TV screen as the picture sharpens.

Include as much detail as possible from the memories recollected about this conversation. The TV picture is now moving from frame-to-frame as the event progresses as though memories running like a DVD streaming in the mind. Imagine that this event was recorded on a camcorder.

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You are seeing the entire conversation occurring from the perspective of the camera. Remember the camera does not have feelings or judgements. It just sees what is.

Now consider what is. Consider what this conversation or event looks like from this other perspective. Most of the time when practising this retrospection exercise we pick up on behaviour and attitudes present in ourselves and others that we had no idea about during the actual conversation. It's when we "rewind" and look at it again that a number of these realisations about hidden assumptions come to surface.

If we run through our old tapes and clear out the mental archives there is a goldmine of information available to us. Information about our patterns and associations that the mind has recorded. Each time we look at one of these visual recordings a little bit of insight becomes known about our perceived self-image. That insight often comes in the form of "this is how I choose to project who I am – but it's not who I am (at least not in absolute terms)."

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