The last week I have spent a lot of time thinking about the 6% concept that I read about in Working on Your Relationship Doesnt Work when I first came across the book. This book suggested straight off that working out things or attempting to fix things is useless when a person is not aware of the problem in the first place. That made, and still does make, a lot of sense to me.

Your 6%

You cannot fix a problem without knowing what the problem is, but often we do just that… if a person is sick, or sad, or depressed, or perplexed, it is commonplace to attempt fixing or explaining something to them. Kane (the author of Working on Your Relationship Doesnt Work) proposes that our problems solve themselves as soon as we become conscious of the hidden agendas and motives that exist within us.

People seldom want to harm others on purpose… but this is seldom avoided in a process where it is hard to be aware of how the actions of one person can affect the actions and feelings of others. Kane introduces the concept of 6% - which relates to one of his personal experiences described in the book.

In the chapter titled 6% he was asking their accountant to implement a better charging structure for clients, it seemed like a great idea but the accountant would not go for it. No matter how well he explained it, no matter in how much detail, the accountant was not pleased with the idea.

Hidden Motives

It turned out that the charging structure he was proposing would mean that his accountant would need to wait a while longer to receive his usual 6% commission. However the accountant was not even aware of this when the idea was first proposed, he knew that he was not pleased with it, but did not know the reason until it came to his awareness.

These hidden motives are usual experiences for all of us. Unless we bring them to consciousness the motives will turn into negative agendas, powered with our subconscious desires, rather than with our conscious mind. Often a number of perceived problems are solved when their true nature is acknowledged through consciousness.

It Makes Sense to Know Your Motives

Often it requires some reflection to get an understanding about what our true motives are, what drives us to act or feel according to external circumstances? Is it possible that the source of a number of conflicts is that process of holding onto an agenda without knowing about it and getting upset with others when that agenda is not met?

The problem is that most of our motives have a conscious side and sometimes also harbour subconscious elements.

For Example

You need to purchase something from Shop X. Your friend is driving to Shop X for groceries. You ask to go with him but do not tell him the reason. In the middle of the trip he decides to go to Shop Y instead for a difference.

The Problem

In the above scenario your friend is not aware of your need to go to Shop X, he is just aware that you want to go to shopping with him. However this causes your subconscious motive to be shut down and unacknowledged. This is a simplistic example of an archetype that occurs again and again when we do not acknowledge our 6% or consider what 6% others might be holding onto.

Using Consciousness

There is no method to overcome these hidden motives altogether, but there is a method to be more conscious and mindful of ourselves and others.

1. Consider which details other people might need to know about your intentions. Learning that your intentions are different later down the road can cause conflict and uncomfortable situations.
2. Be mindful of the intentions others have. Not taking these intentions into account results in a lack of awareness about the motivations that others have and their reason for having those motivations.